Dead Fish & Seaweed

"After rejecting it, Calvin Klein stole my idea for a perfume that smells like the beach. Jackie Chiles, Esq., wanted nothing to do with me (you know, after I settled the hot coffee case for free lattes for life), but these guys took my case. Now, if New Yorkers smell like dead fish and seaweed, they have Kardisch, Link & Associates and me to thank for it." Kramer

Soup or a Meal?

"I hired Kardisch, Link & Associates to sue my friend Jerry for reneging on our deal...you know...an Armani suit for a meal at Mendy's. They made new law in New York by convincing the court that soup is not a meal! You're the best, KLA...the best!" Kenny Banya

"Answer the Damn Phone!"

"It was easy for me to sue my sister's only child when he used me like a bomb-sniffing robot. I mean, I lost my eyebrows and my girlfriend (a real tiger), and I developed a ringing in my ears. I hired Mr. Kardisch and boy, did I get everything I deserved! Would someone answer the damn phone?!? Hello!!" Uncle Leo

I Had a Pony

"When my wife, Manya, died after the 'pony' remark (some say it was the potato salad), I hired attorney Bonnie Link to handle the estate. Cousin Jeffrey (he works for the Parks Department) got the apartment, and Ms. Link wrapped up our affairs quickly and with sensitivity so that I could move to Arizona in peace." Cousin Isaac

Jimmy Gets Even

"Jimmy hired Mr. Kardisch to seek financial remuneration when Jimmy slipped on a water spill in the locker room causing Jimmy to go into shock and to have great pain and suffering. These lawyers made Jimmy very happy." Jimmy

Was That Wrong?

"I sued Pendant Publishing for wrongfully terminating my employment during the holiday season because I had sex with the cleaning lady on my desk. Since the company had never advised me that that sort of thing was frowned upon, these guys were able to get me a great settlement. I was so happy I gave a cashmere sweater to the senior partner and she loved it...with the red dot." George

"Its Very Refreshing!"

"A patient sued me because a Junior Mint landed in his open chest during surgery. This firm's relentless investigation revealed that two idiots in the observatory were responsible and I was exonerated. Who turns down a Junior Mint?" Dr. Siegel

"I Just Assumed He Killed Her"

"We were abput to hire this firm to sue George Costanza for killing our daughter, Susan, until we realized that our almost son-in-law had no assets to speak of." Susan's parents

"Not THAT Hot!"

"I hired Bonnie Link, Esq., to co-counsel with me on a coffee burn case. She was indisputable, indispensable, irrevocable, stupendous!! And the firm had 'pet' names for everyone. Working with these guys was NOT one of my many public humiliations." Jackie Chiles, Esq.

No Suit For You!

"When a competitor sued me for 'stealing' his Mulligatawny recipe, these guys sent a strong message to him: 'No suit for you! NEXT!' "The Soup Nazi"